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Convoluted quality policy statements

Schrocknroll
I once worked at a company whose quality policy statement was simply "Meet or exceed our customer’s quality requirements".

But now I work at a company where this was going to be the statement before our quality manager shot it down:

“********* is dedicated to total Customer satisfaction by leveraging our technical and manufacturing leadership, delivering world class custom forged and precision machined products fostered by our commitment to continuous improvement in all aspects of our Business.”

Who comes up with this stuff? It's 90% buzz words.

  • Who comes up with this stuff? It's 90% buzz words.

    Someone with a buzz?

    TK
  • MBA Class required for semester #1

    BUS-101 "Can't dazzle'em with Brilliance Baffle'em with Bull"
  • That second one made me glaze over for a bit, by the time I realized it I was already onto the next line of text. It just sounds like a bunch of general feel good words smashed together to say "We want our customers to be happy, so we work hard."
  • That second one made me glaze over for a bit, by the time I realized it I was already onto the next line of text. It just sounds like a bunch of general feel good words smashed together to say "We want our customers to be happy, so we work hard."

    I'll make sure to offer that as an option for our quality policy statement.
  • I once worked at a place where the owner ended a conversation about bad parts by screaming in my face his "real" quality motto, which was slightly different than the generic buzzword one hanging on the wall:

    "If you can sell a bag of sh*t, you sell a bag of sh*t!"

    We didn't make anything important, just these machine-part thingies that rotated a high speed and if they broke they would shoot through a steel casing then through the roof, and as the borken machine ground to a halt it would quit supplying electricity to a city. Nothing major.
  • I once worked for a company which had a grammatical error in their quality policy (where they confused "continual" with "continuous"). It irritated me every time I saw it on our quality documents, and more than a couple customers mentioned it, too.

    Years ago, Dilbert.com had a "mission statement generator" that spat out the same sort of gobbledygook like this.

  • "If you can sell a bag of sh*t, you sell a bag of sh*t!"

    In my past shops the most famous and most common line is "What's a thousands (or tenth) or two between you and the wall?!?!" I am now graced with a company that now is proactive, not reactive, and supports QA. Good times!
  • ... Toward that goal, all employees will strife to generate zero defects, ...

    Actually made it to print before someone spotted it.

    To be honest, the NEXT place I worked really did "strife to generate zero defects". Probably why they had a 60% turnover rate per year.....
  • I once worked for a company which had a grammatical error in their quality policy (where they confused "continual" with "continuous").

    I don't know which word they used, but a few years ago ours changed to continual from continuous. It was intentional. I asked our quality manager and he explained to me why continual was more accurate.

    See here: http://grammarist.com/usage/continual-continuous/

    Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk
  • I once worked at a company whose quality policy statement was simply "Meet or exceed our customer’s quality requirements".

    But now I work at a company where this was going to be the statement before our quality manager shot it down:

    “********* is dedicated to total Customer satisfaction by leveraging our technical and manufacturing leadership, delivering world class custom forged and precision machined products fostered by our commitment to continuous improvement in all aspects of our Business.”

    Who comes up with this stuff? It's 90% buzz words.


    My 2nd job in Quality way back in the early 90's I worked for Eaton Corp. Cutler Hammer division and they had it down pat, no bull, KISS.

    Say what you do.
    Do what you say.
    Do it right the first time.

    Maybe they had the quality policy mixed up with a haiku contest but they covered all three VERY well.Wink

    Other than the large corporate bureaucracy I still miss working for them.


    4/1/96
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